I heard you are about to get hit with a big winter storm.
(I wrote that last sentence in frowny face font. In case you couldn't tell.)
Is your storm REALLY called NEMO?!?!
This makes no sense to me.
Nemo is adorable and cute.
Your storm is not.
So I thought of a better name for it for you:
|Twitter trend alert in the making #BruceTheBlizzard|
I was thinking to myself......how can I help you?
And the answer is....I cannot.
(Hey, someone has to stay here and soak up this Florida sunshine.)
Because everyone knows that Hollywood gossip is mindless and ridiculous and PERFECT for #BruceTheBlizzard conditions.
Let's get started:
1.) Anne Hathaway is married. Apparently to Ryan Gosling. And he carries her umbrella for her. While she carries an empty Go-Gurt package in her hand. Why does Ryan look so disturbed? Because his freakishly pointy shoes are killing him. And now he's worried about getting bunions. The End.
2.) Ok, I'm going to admit. I was so sick of Tori Spelling. But then her intestines fell out and suddenly she got my attention again. She instagramed this pic yesterday when their car broke down on their road trip with four kids. SO CUTE AND FUNNY!!! #JustLikeNemo
3.) Who is this? Is she seriously famous? I hear her name is Olivia something or other and she's on tv. Or maybe she was in a movie. I don't know. And I'm already bored with this conversation.
4.) This picture? Makes me feel.......ew. With a side of yuck. And a heaping of "It makes me uncomfortable to even look at this picture" on top.
5.) OMG. I feel so much better now.........
Newsflash: Your blizzard just melted.
Adam and his suit say you're welcome.