It's Sunday and I think it's a perfect time to discuss mindless Hollywood gossip that I was obsessed with last week.
Although let's be honest. Any time is a perfect time to discuss mindless Hollywood gossip.
So let's just do a shotgun start...the number 1 story I'm most fascinated by:
#1--Tori Spelling!!!
Tori Spelling's 4th-child-conceived-only-4 weeks-after-the-3rd child-was-born c-section scar busted open.
Can we pause and reflect on that sentence again?
Because OMG.
I still can't process this even though I've read every single story written about it 47 times.
I'm completely horrified by it and yet cannot turn away.
Must click....and read about how HER INTESTINES CAME OUT.
Ohhhhhhhhh whyyyyyyyyy can't I click away?!?!
And where is the part of the story that says Dean has been neutered so this can never ever happen again?
Because that's the only way this story should end.
#2--Mr. and Mrs. Timberlake
Why does Jessica Biel make me yawn so much?
I get bored even just saying her name, let alone looking at her.
AND THEN?
I see the People cover and she is wearing a pink wedding dress!
The hell???? Suddenly she's Sandy from Grease, carnival scene?!
#3--Jessica Simpson's parents are getting divorced
Ok, big deal. But is he gay? The former preacher who loves fashion and talking about his daughter's boobs? Hold on while I find my surprised face.
I think Papa Joe said it best: "She's got DDs. You can't cover those suckers up!"
#4--Jessica Alba, Are You My Mother?
I'm fascinated by how much her daughter Haven looks NOTHING like her. Or the father. Every time I see a pic of her and Haven, I always think she just picked up Marcia Cross's kid at the park by accident.
So you are welcome for this extremely insightful post.
Tomorrow I promise I'll have something more scholarly to post.
Maybe.
Ok, probably not.
OH my! How I have missed you! I needed that laugh.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree, especially about Jessica Biel. She could have rocked this one out - HELLO, getting married in an Italian villa to JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - and yet she still managed to find a way to underwhelm me. Pink splotchy dress??? Come on.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree about Tori..I had to re-read it over and over! Is she crazy?!
ReplyDeleteJessica Biel is a bit of a snooze. Her dress was just awful.
The whole Papa Joe...I can definitely see it.
You are so much better to read than US Weekly!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Jen -- much better! Great to be reading you again. :)
ReplyDeleteI think that I'm the only Jessica Biel fan out there. I like that she is down-to-earth and seems like a "normal" girl and not the ultra made-up Hollywood type. It makes me feel like my high school wish could have come true and that I could have actually married Justin Timberlake.
ReplyDeleteTori Spelling's story is cray-cray! I, too, can't look away.
ReplyDeleteJessica Biel's dress was horrible! Just HORRIBLE!
After having 2 c-sections myself and waiting WELL past the 6 week mark to, ahem, rekindle the romance, I just can't even go there with Ms. Spelling.
ReplyDeleteJessica Biel's dress looked like a pink layer cake when she stood up. She could have done a lot better.