Rules of the Pool

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

On yesterday's post, I received this comment from Kmama:
I'm so glad you're back. Will you be linking to any of those old posts again? Whenever I had a bad day, I would come over and read your "Must reads" and then I would laugh and get over whatever was bugging me...if only for a little while. 

The answer? Ask and you shall receive, Kmama.  


(originally posted in 2008)

This morning Carter and I attended our usual Monday morning Mommy &Me swim class at our little neighborhood swim school for kids. It's a real cute place.

Today, I noticed for the first time the "Rules of the Pool" sign. All the rules were typical of pool rules...."Showering before entering" (which, by the way, does anyone really do?), so on and so forth.

Then I read Rule #7:

"Do not enter pool while intoxicated."


Was drunk swimming a rampant problem among the over-21 age group of the neighborhood swim school?


Rebel Moms: "Hey, McMommy! Pssst! McMommy, come over here!"

McMommy (looking around): "Me? You want me?"

Rebel Moms: "Yeah, you! You want a tequila shot?"

McMommy: "What??? But our little Starfish Swim class is about to start!"

Rebel Moms: "Exactly! That's the point! Now class is going to be A LOT more fun! Last time, we dared Tommy's mom to funnel a beer and then do a belly flop into the Tadpoles swim lesson! It was GREAT!"

McMommy: "Wait a second.....are you guys the reason for--"

Rebel Moms: "--for Rule #7!!!! Yeah!!!!! That's us!! Now come over here and do a couple shots....and then go climb up on Brandon's mom's shoulders. Drunk Mom Chicken Fighting begins in two minutes."


  1. You are hilarious!
    Where do you come up with this stuff?
    Do you wake up at night with these ideas?
    Does creativity flow in your blood?
    I must know.
    I have struggled all day with what to write about.
    You sometimes write twice a day.
    How oh great you. do. it?

  2. I think I might be able to top that. ;-) At our park, we have a little sort of sprinkler park, all fenced off for the kids on hot days. The rules are pretty normal. No running. No rough housing.

    Then you get to the last one.

    No BarBQue. (No, there's no rule about "No food or drink." That would make too much sense. can TOTALLY take your booze in...just make sure you leave your ribs outside!)

  3. OK, Wendi took the words RIGHT out of my mouth. Seriously, have you always been this funny? And why did you wait so long to start sharing your talent with the world???

    I'm fond of this pool sign:

    Welcome to our OOL. Notice there's no P in it. Let's keep it that way.

  4. PS C'mon and spill the dirt - did you do the shot or what?

    Were the daddies of the class loving the girl-on-girl action of the chicken fighting?

    You keep me laughing, that's for sure. And by the way, McDaddy is McCharming. He had me at McHot.

    You're one lucky Mommy!

  5. This is so funny. And, yes, the only wet people that I have ever seen enter our pool at the gym are those who just got OUT two seconds ago so that they could jump back in again.

  6. The best part about ridiculous rules & warnings like that is the fact that someone actually DID the very thing they're telling you not to do.
    One rowdy mom gets carried away and ruins it for everyone else... isn't that always how it goes? :)

  7. Now that's an interesting idea--add a swim up bar to the community swim school pool. It works for me!

  8. Too funny!

    I never bother reading past the first few lines on those signs. Now I'm going to have to start paying more attention!

  9. Again too funny!

    Are drunk people really that big of a problem? You just have to think it must have happened at least once to make it on the sign.

    Good Grief. Probably was the same person with the sign in your neighborhood asking for someone to parent their kids for the summer. :)

  10. Hilarious! LOL!

    We do toddler and parents swimming to on Monday mornings. It's so much fun! (Even sober).

  11. That's SO funny! I remember a sign from our pool growing up that said "Welcome to our OOL, notice there is no "P" in it...let's keep it that way!" Hahaha!!!!!

  12. "Drunk Mom Chicken Fighting" That made me chuckle!

    I think your stats are going to go way up due to some perverted Google searchs!

  13. Don't lie, are one of the original Rebel Moms, aren't you?

    Seriously awesome! I will totally picture this everytime I see a Mommy & Me swim class and try to pick out the rebel moms.

  14. Seriously, I RULE at drunk mom chicken fighting.

    We have a DMCF league in our neighborhood and I'm the Team Captain. I'm better a being the base and then getting a scrappy mom with nails to be on top. She scratches, I push, and BAM! We rule the pool.

    But now there's Rule #7.... I guess I'll have to break the news to the League.

  15. Really, we need a rule for that?

    BTW on our recent trip to Moab, my 10 year old son, Carter got an eye full at the pool. His tounge hung out of his mouth which allowed the drool to accumulate on the ground. Yes, a thong wearing hottie at the campground pool. Really, is that appropriate attire for a family campground?

    I immediately thought of your post of the thong at the baby pool!

  16. Hahahaha!! I have never thought to read Pool Rules before. Crazy! I can only imagine what kind of people these rules were put into effect for...

  17. That conversation is great. I'm guessing a lot of dads would start showing up if there were going to be drunk mom chicken fights at the pool.

    I left you an award on my post today--I'm pretty sure you're the only one I could give it to.

  18. That is hysterical.
    I wish that I could have been there the day someone decided they needed to add the "No Swimming Drunk" clause too the rules. I can only imagine how that conversation would have gone.

  19. Working in marketing, I have a habit of analyzing rules and disclaimers to see if I can figure out a loophole or a way around them. I noticed the sign says: "Do not enter pool while intoxicated", but it doesn't say anything about getting smashed while you are already in the pool. So there you go. You can drink in the pool, just don't show up already wasted. Let me know how it goes.

  20. That's pretty funny - signs like that make me laugh, and a good laugh is always a good thing . . . especially at the pool!!

  21. so did ya? just kidding!

    "no drinking and drowning allowed!"

  22. Very cute. Maybe that's for the lifeguards. (ya just never know)

  23. While a margarita poolside does sound nice, watching kids in swim diapers peeing in the pool just doesn't complete that picture!

  24. Drunk Mom Chicken Fighting. Aaaah, those were the days. LOL

  25. You mean you don't do a shot of Tequila before you take your kids to swim class. Oh, maybe I should quit that nasty habit! It certainly makes swim class a lot more enjoyable though:)

  26. Ha! Now that is my kind of pool party. When can I come? See you at drink-thirty!

  27. Drinking by the pool? Sure. But the neighbrhood kiddie pool? filled with swim diapers we all know don't work? Um, no thanks. Not quite the same...

  28. rather funny! you always wonder about those type of rules...they had to be made for a reason! ;-)

  29. where do I sign up for this class? LOL

  30. How fabulous - Drunk Mom Chicken Fighting, why doesn't our pool do that? LOL

  31. Baha! Seriously though, I think this was directed at the toddlers. 'Cause they be cah-razy.

  32. I love your stories and have missed this kind of amazing blogging! So glad you are back McMommy!

  33. Oh, THANK YOU! I'm so glad you will be bringing some of them back!!


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