Brain Potpourri

1.  I just wrote that title and realized....does anyone even get that reference or am I outdated???   p.s. It's a Jeopardy thing.  Speaking of....

2.  Sean Connery:  "I'll take THE RAPIST for $1000, Alex."
     Alex:  "That's not "The Rapist".  It says "Therapist".

3.  So Gisele had a baby girl.  Do you think they did that on purpose?  You know what I mean.  How you can spin the sperm or whatever and pick your baby's gender.  I have a list going in my head of celebrities I think did or did not do it.   Reese Witherspoon and baby Tennessee...totally did not.  Victoria Beckham with baby Harper?  Totally did it.  And let me invoke Melissa Gorga...thank you jesus {sign of the cross, kiss my thumb and look up}...because seriously how cute is that baby girl?!

4.  I just want to take a moment to apologize to everyone who has emailed me and FB messaged me since I started blogging again.   And I haven't responded yet.  I SUCK.  I'm also completely overwhelmed by your kind words and I swear I will be responding soon.  Which goes hand in hand with number 5....

5.  I never feel like I have it together.  I always feel like I'm doggy-paddling to get through the month, day, week, hour.  I just want to feel ahead of the game, for once.  Like those people.  You know the ones I'm talking about.  The people who set the coffee up the night before they go to bed. The ones who know how to work the timer on the coffee machine.  And put the mug out on the counter and everything.  I want to be that person so bad.

6.  Instead, let me tell you what happens to people like me....when slackers try to be pro-active.  We go to Toys R Us and buy our kids Christmas presents....and we are SO PROUD OF OURSELVES!  Because it's December 9th!!  AND WE ARE WINNING THIS GAME!!!!!!!!  We are not scrambling to buy gifts after work on December 23rd....nope, not us! We are planners this year.  And??  We get even more crazy and have the gifts wrapped and shipped to where we will be celebrating Christmas.  Aren't we so smart??  And organized?!  And.....dare I say it....ahead of the game!

7.  Then?  After these toys are shipped....you realize that they all require batteries.  And the location where you are spending Christmas?  Is not a place where batteries can be bought.  So that's fun.  To give your kids Christmas gifts that they won't even be able to play with Christmas morning.

8.  So the planners now have to head back to Toys R Us....to find the toys we purchased....to read the box to see what kind of batteries we need to buy and {PLEASE GOD DO NOT LET ME FORGET TO} pack them in our suitcase.   And, let's be honest here, we will probably be packing those suitcases at midnight the night before the flight.

9.  Carter's holiday class party is coming up.  The homeroom mom sent out a list a mile long of things she needed people to volunteer to bring in.  All the people who answer emails in a normal time frame got the good stuff.  This other mom and I must have answered slightly less quickly, because all that was left by the time we replied was "A bag of gumdrops and 22  Large Little Debbie Cakes."

And the other mom? Says all lightening quick "I'll bring the gumdrops!"
AND I GOT STUCK WITH THE 300 LITTLE DEBBIE CAKES.
Who's exaggerating?

I wanted the gumdrops!!!!!!!!!!  I'm not a planner, remember?!  I could get a bag of gumdrops at Walgreens on my way TO the party!  Have you seen a Little Debbie display recently at the store?  There are like one million varieties of this nasty stuff.  And which one is LARGE?!?!

Someone call my pin-ssistant to deal with this mess and make it better.