Paint War Gender Reveal

Saturday, April 27, 2013



This past month, life has been going along and I really haven't felt inspired to blog much.

And then...I see this pin on Pinterest:


OMG. HER EAR. 

YES. THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS.

I'm pretty sure by now everyone has heard about the "gender reveal" phenomena that has been sweeping the nation. If you haven't, google that right now.  We'll wait for you to see the pics of the parents-to-be opening boxes with pink balloons streaming out and the cakes with the blue frosting that ooze out of the center when you slice into them.
Oh but it's about to get a lot better.
Two words for you:  PAINT WAR.

The "PAINT WAR gender reveal" is all sorts of awesome.
It makes the "It's a boy!" phone call I made to my friends and family back in the day seem soooooooo nine years ago.



Let's examine this phenomena closer, shall we?

So the pregnant couple goes into their doctor appointment, after a quick stop at Home Depot I assume, and unload their quarts of blue paint, pink paint, white unmarked empty bottle, and paint stirrer in front of the doctor.

Ok, I don't know if they really bring a paint stirrer.

I just took the liberty of adding that item in because the paint stirrers are always sitting there at the paint counter, like take me home, I'm free.
So you throw like six of them in the bag.
And the Home Depot guy gives you a look.
WHAT? WHAT'S WITH THE LOOK, HOME DEPOT MAN?  STOP STANDING THERE AND BEING ALL JUDGY, IN YOUR ORANGE VEST.  MAYBE I WILL NEED TO STIR....six times..ish.

Anyway......back to our story....

Aisle Four of Home Depot is now located in exam room #2 of your ob/gyn's office.
In my mind, this is how it goes down:

"Doctor, I know you are extremely busy with the business of birthing babies all day long but we need your help. You see, we would like to do a gender reveal paint war photo shoot!!  As such, we will need you to please choose the paint that correlates with the sex of the baby and put it into the white bottle. Please be careful that NOT A DROP OF PAINT gets ANYWHERE on the outside of the bottle.  Because that would ruin the purpose of our gender reveal paint war, of course."

"A....gender reveal....paint....war."

"Yes. It's all the rage on Pinterest right now."

"And you want me to squeeze paint into this white bottle.  Because.......?"



"Because are going to blindfold each other and then squirt the paint all over each other, all while being carefree and laughing giddily and being photographed! Naturally, we will remove our blindfolds at some point and see...we are having a boy! Or a girl! It's going to be SO adorable."



"Right. So you are telling me you are going to squirt this paint all over each other. And make a mess of yourselves."

"An adorable mess."

" And by whatever color you are slimed in, that's how you tell the sex of the baby."

"Yes, that's right."

"Well, this is sheer brilliance.  Consider me on board. Nurse, call Labor & Delivery and tell them I'll be a little late.  Now, pass me a paint stirrer.....or six. I can hardly wait to see how the pictures turn out. I'm sure they will be a timeless keepsake!"




6 Comments!:

  1. Some of this sh!t is just getting completely out of control.

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  2. This is nuts. Wait until you've cleaned up a few baby messes and see if this was the best idea to start things off!

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  3. This is nuts. Wait until you've cleaned up a few baby messes and see if this was the best idea to start things off!

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  4. Using temper paint would be so much easier and they sell it in squirt bottles. (Michael's)

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  5. Makes me feel like my whole "hey, I know I am only 15 weeks but let's see if we can tell the gender, oh look, another boy!" Appointment was super lame. My hubby wasn't even with me for that one. :)

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  6. Gender Reveals are the most desperate cry for attention.

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