I've only been back blogging a week and I'm ALREADY on vacation?!? SLACKER, I know.
But ooh...look over there! An old post for you!
I'm sneaking back to my lounge chair if anyone needs me....wish you were here!
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(originally posted 2009)
Last night was a late night of celebrating with the family. And I'm not sure where the champagne tree is in the yard, but it has got to be there somewhere. Because every time I turned around, my previously empty champagne glass was full again.
Needless to say, this morning I woke up and was all "Hi, I'm calling in sick to work today."
But my 2 year old was all "Request denied."
So in an effort to dump my parental duties on someone else, we headed off to storytime at the library.
An amazing angel of a librarian put out fun Melissa and Doug puzzles for the kids to play with, sang songs to them, and read them stories.
As Carter and I sat at the table with the puzzle, another mother came and sat across from me.
She was everything I wasn't this morning.
She was loud, she was perky, and she was obviously trying to win the prize for Most Annoying Mother Ever.
"Jack, LOOK! A Clifford puzzle! Let's see if we can remember every single character EVER from Clifford...."
{DearGodHelpMe.}
"Jack, are you listening to Mommy, Jack? Jack, I'm trying to remember the purple character's name. Jack, can you help mommy remember the purple character's name? Jack? I need your attention, Jack. Look at mommy, Jack."
"Jack, I have an idea. Let's count to 20 in Spanish just for fun!"
"Oh Jack! It's time for Wheels on the Bus! How EXCITING!!!"
{Insert image here of Most Annoying Mother Ever doing all the motions to Wheels on the Bus so emphatically, that she probably made the first-place winner of the national cheerleading competition look lethargic.}
In the midst of this annoying-ness, Carter shows me this thing and says "what dis mommy?"
I replied "A hot dog".
Because it kind of looked like a hot dog to me.
And do you know what Annoying Mom says to Jack?
"Jack, is that really a hot dog?"
And annoying Jack turns to ME and says "That's a carrot, not a hot dog."
Annoying mom gets all puffy and beaming and says: "That's RIGHT, Jack! Why do you think it is a carrot and not a hot dog?"
Jack: "It's orange."
Annoying Mom: "That's right, Jack!!! Plus, they are making sandwiches and you wouldn't cut up a hot dog to put in a sandwich, right? So yes, it is a carrot. Do you like carrots, Jack? Jack, do you know carrots are good for your eyes? They have Vitamin A in them and vitamin A is good for your eyes. And Jack? BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH INSERT MORE ANNOYING STUFF HERE BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH."
I almost chucked the "carrot" at her head.
Well, look at that. You are right, little Jack. It IS a carrot!
Because I don't think a hot dog would've left a mark like THAT on your mom's head!