Carter: “Mommy? Can I have those scissors?”
Me: “Why?”
Carter: “I need to bring them to school.”
Me: “Why?”
Carter: “William and I are going to cut down a tree at the playground tomorrow.”
Me: {Laughing}
Carter: “I not kidding.”
“You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly?”
–Dr. Evil