How to be a Professional and Famous Blogger.

Let's review my week, shall we?

Monday: I can't remember

Tuesday: I can't remember

Wednesday: I can't remember

Thursday: Went out to dinner with a fellow blogger, Leslie from Got Kids, Need Valium! Sure, I've been to Chile to visit her. But now it was my turn to show her a good time!

In the car on the way to pick her up, I snapped a pic of myself on my cell phone at a red light. Because that's what bloggers do, I've been told. And I really wanted Leslie to think I was a professional blogger.


And not only did I want Leslie to think I'm a professional blogger, I also wanted her to fool her into thinking I was a super famous blogger.

So I took her to my favorite restaurant, where I know all the waiters. I could float around the room, shake a few hands, kiss a few babies and then request my favorite table. I believed my plan to be perfect.

How wrong I was.

Because apparently, no one at my favorite restaurant even knows I blog.

No one was all "McMommy, I read your latest post! It was fab!" or "McMommy, can you autograph this for me?".
No one even asked me to take any pics with them.
It was completely depressing and ruining my grand plan of wooing Leslie into thinking I was a skilled and acclaimed blogger.

And? The icing on the cake? All the waiters proceeded to fall in love with Leslie!!! She started speaking French and Spanish to them and they couldn't run over fast enough to give her glasses of wine on the house.

So of course, I was all "Hola!"...which apparently didn't impress anyone.
In fact, they just brought over my glass of wine and gave it to Leslie.

However, I'm not a quitter. I refused to let my plan go down the toilet.

We sat there, talking and laughing and telling stories....and occasionally, I'd throw in a "Oh, I'm going to have to blog about that!"

You know, just to make it seem like I was formulating future posts in my head at all times.

Sometimes in mid-conversation, I'd whip out my phone and twitter. Or send out a twit-pic. Like all pro bloggers do.



And Leslie would too.









Hmmm. She was good. I was going to have to move quickly to my next trick.

I pulled my camera out of my purse and asked Leslie's boyfriend the waiter to take a pic of us. I could tell Leslie was extremely impressed by my Boy Scout inspired "always be prepared for a blog-worthy moment so carry your camera at all times" motto.

In fact, I was just going to mention to her that she could nickname me Scout when she pulled the ultimate one-up on me: Leslie takes out her video camera and starts vlogging right there at the dinner table.

It was all over. I was a fraud.

I waved the white flag and bowed down to the famous, professional blogger that sat before me.

She gave me her autograph and sent me home.

p.s. You probably want to know where the vlog is, right? How the heck should I know?! I'm just a lowly, common blogger. If Leslie ever posts it, I'll let you know so you can all make fun of me.