Father's Day is this weekend....and well, don't we all struggle with what would be the *perfect* gift for Dad?
A tie? (so cliche.)
A Wii? (nah. who actually wants to get in shape?)
A new 60" flat screen? (come on. you can be more original than that.)
This catalog arrived in the mail last week. And WOW! There was so much to choose from!
Lucky for you, I perused the catalog and thought I'd share some gift ideas with you. You can thank me later.
Wow, now this shirt is classy! A great t-shirt for Dad to wear on family outings...or family portraits...
Poor Dad! His feet get no love. Well, maybe if you bought him these "premium foot patches", all the nasty gunk would get sucked right out of his feet! Then Daddy could hang his brown, makes-McMommy-want-to-vomit-just-looking-at-it patch on the refrigerator door ("Look what I made!") with all the children's artwork.
How about a lovely door mat? What a friendly way for Dad to welcome house guests! Because nothing says "welcome to my home" quite like the words "butter my butt"...
Ohhhh...now THIS....this is one item you better act quickly on! Because I have a feeling this was one of the most-requested Father's Day presents this year....The animated Pole Dancer Musical Alarm Clock! (I love the way the text says "awaken to a private show"....oh the sheer excitement of it all!!!)
You want to see Dad REALLY look macho? Real men use these:
Hmmm...maybe now you are thinking..."McMommy, those were some good suggestions. But I still haven't found the perfect gift."
Well....you are in luck! I saw one more item in that catalog....tucked wayyyyyyy in the back pages....
The Fartmaster key chain.
"Everyone will be laughing and wondering 'who done it?' " Six realistic flatulent sounds--from "standard" to "ripper" to "wet"--are digitally reproduced with the push of a button.
Now look.....how can you do all this shopping for Dad and not pick up a little something for yourself?
How can you resist this classy tank top?
Ok, so you wore your sinful tank top, you sinner you. The next morning, you want to feel moral again. How about this wonderfully innocent yet strangely delicious watermelon t-shirt?
And why carry trendy Gucci or Louis Vuitton handbags...when you can carry an original Chicken Purse...with 3-D features, may I add!
I know what you all are thinking.
And I just want to say......
You're welcome.
52 Comments!:
Please, OH Please reveal the name of that catalog! ...yes, I am serious.
And, thank you.
Wow! How did you get on the mailing list of such a Klassy Katalog?
And the foot detox pad? Gross. Just gross. (Although, I wonder if they make fat removal pads because I would totally be willing to give those a try!)
My MIL gets that catalog and we have hours of fun laughing at the descriptions. I have seen that foot one before. Blech.
Oh, and you know, I love that carrying that purse will make you "One cool chick." Did the catalog have the wizard robes for men and women? Love those.
Shut up you are the funniest thing in the world. I don't know what is my favorite the stripper alarm clock or the watermelon t-shirt.
I'll just say it...that catalog has class coming out of its a**.
Okay, I cannot get past the foot "after" picture - gross!!! I'm still contemplating on what to get him for Father's Day. Maybe that little alarm clock? Haha!
Yeah...that just begs the question - WHY does that thing show up in the mailbox! hahahaha
Those are hilarious!
and I thought the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog was amusing. My birthday is tomorrow- think I can still ask for the rubber chicken purse?!
I so need that catalog! I think EVERY father this year should get a pole dancing alarm clock. I mean what better way to wake up in the morning. Ha! The SHUT THE DUCK up wasn't too bad, but I was thinking more for me than daddy! :)
that foot detox pad is absolutely gross! people actually buy it? don't you ever wonder how you get on the mailing list for these weird catalogs?!
You are just WAY to funny:) I have been contemplating what to get Daddy for Dad's day. I had it narrowed down to a new grill or some new tools.
Now you have got me rethinking those ideas. Maybe I'll get the alarm clock-every dad needs one of those right?
Or maybe that classy keychain.
Oh, the pressure! What to do, what to do:)
Yes, How did you get on there mailing list? I think McDaddy needs the pole dancing alarm clock. I am going to get my husband and sons the matching watermelon shirts. I am sure they will love to wear them all summer.
Thanks a lot, lady. Now my gift of a framed portrait I took of the kids, one he's never even seen, to put on his desk at work seems TOTALLY LAME! I think I'll have to order the duck shirt to wrap it in. Now THAT would be classy! :)
Also, I double dog dare you to buy the chicken purse and carry it every year on April Fool's day with a completely straight face.
Interesting gadgets!
:)
Thanks for the great suggestions! I can't decide between the stripper alarm clock or the key chain that stinkers. Maybe I'll forgot those and just go with matching watermelon shirts for the whole family. Wouldn't we just look adorable wearing those on our next trip to Disney!
NOT!!!!!
i'm a dad and would take ALL on the list! that's for compiling. Of course I would weat the Shut the Duck up shirt! and honestly, an original idea would be the 60" flat panel! I supposed the McFamily has one with their killer Wii! lucky family! This daddy is sooooo jealous.
oh BTW, catalog name was listed on the post at the top. there was a link to it... http://www.catalogfavorites.com/
OK - I have to be honest...I'm ordering the "Shut the DUCK up" t-shirt for my husband. Meg's nickname is "the duck". Not sure how she got it, but I do have to say it's better than the original which was "mud duck".
I think that alarm clock will be nice for the kids to see. Start 'em young. Family portraits--ha, ha. I can totally see that.
And yes, you are the only person I know with a goiter. The badge awarding is totally optional--no need to make up new ones or even hand any out. But, by all means, had out the "goitered" award if you know any worthy recipients.
Ugh! I don't know what's worse... gifts like this marketed for Dad on Father's Day, or kitchen appliances marketed for Mom on Mother's Day. Like I want a blender for Mother's Day -- don't they know we want JEWELRY??
This is hysterical!!! I just love stuff like this. You are too fun!!
wet farts...that is love!
Why is everyone making fun? These are quality items. Especially the Detox Patch. I wear six or seven of them when I hit the clubs. Gives me a nice, mellow all-over-body high.
Ah I see some cool gifts in some folks future! Thanks
I am returning my Wii immediately so I can purchase the Fartmaster key chain!!! Thanks :-)
Oh. My. GAWD. The worst part of all is, you know SOMEONE is buying this stuff.
omg i am DYYYINNNG laughing right now. you McMommy guarantee a barrel of laughter with your posts.
how DISGUSTING are those foot pads? oh lord and the stripper alarm clock? WHATTTTT/????
you are the funniest thing ever. thank you OH SO much for the classiest gift ideas i've EVER come acroos!!
Oh. My. Word. Those are so awesomely bad that they are actually scary funny. I bet they make buttloads. Craziness!
Ok, the dacshund corn holders made me fall off the couch while laughing and now my 4-year old wants them. Thanks.
This is friggin' hilarious!
Is that alarm clock for real??? Oh my...
Now why couldn't you have posted this before I bought my husband a six pack of coke for Father's Day? I really couldn't think of anything else! At least it's the original glass bottles.
I'm totally getting him those detox foot pads, though. Totally.
You have saved a life girl.
I was having a hard time trying to come up with something original.
YOU found originality at its very source.
Really....how can I ever properly thank you?
Maybe one of those chicken bags...anything for my BFF!
Just let me know where to ship it...mkay?
Why didn't you post these great gift ideas earlier?? I would have loved to have bought the pole dancing alarm clock (so I could beat it to a million little pieces with a hammer in front of him to teach him what I would do if he ever went to a strip club while I was 7 months pregnant again.)
Those foot pads always intrigued me.
My husband it totally getting the pole dancing alarm clock. Too funny!
And I don't even want to know how you got on the mailing list...
Oh my--I just can't decide now...they all look so wonderful *wink* I guess it's a toss between the awesome foot pads and the alarm clock (waaayyy better than a silly 60 inch HDTV)
Thanks for the laugh :)
Those were great! Thanks for the fun. :)
You know that they have catalogs like these because people do buy these things, right? It comes in catalog form because either a) no internet or b) cannot get off the sofa
I'm rolling, I love the 3D handbag, a wardrobe must for so many!
Pretty funny!!!
How DID you get on that list???? Just what have you bought from them before???
hahahahahaha! i think the alarm clock pole dancer might have taken the cake! haha but that chicken purse was rather attractive!
Oh my goodness!
That is hysterical!
I am thinking that now that Chet has a harley is should definitely get one of those pole dancing alarm clocks! :) hee,hee!
Especially since yesterday my mom told me not to become "one of those harley people". To which I responded, "what kind, the kind with all the harley tattoos"? Oh my! :)
Ummm...can you get me the dog corn holders for fathers day? Please.......
but I think my class act hubby already has the fat key chain. I know. But the others, Let me ponder just what it will be with all of those delicious ideas....
thank you!
thank you!
And just as I was lamenting I had nothing to get David!
You are so considerate.
So... do they ship to Canada?
SOOO FUNNY! I personally love the doormat! So hilarious - I too, would love to know what catalogue you found all of this in!
I'm ordering the chicken purse - lovely.
Thanks for all of the great ideas. I was fresh out.
What I want to know is, why are you getting that catalogue?
You probably have a secret stash of chicken purses and watermelon tees. It's ok. You can admit it. :-)
Oh, and I saw a thing on 20/20 or somewhere that those foot detox pads don't really work. Just in case you were considering. :-)
well I certainly hope that if I order my Dad a stripper alarm clock TODAY..he can get in time for Father's Day. I'm sure he would be so grateful he'd be speechless.
Okay, is it weird that I totally want those foot detox things? And the Fartmaster is PERFECT for my dad.
You MUST reveal the name of the catalog!
And seriously, lady -- 46 COMMENTS?!? You're gettin' HYUGE!
I have seen the infomercials for those foot pads and I always think it is gross and disgusting...but then a part of me wonders what would happen if I wore them for a night? Would they really be black in the morning?
Ugh! Those foot pads are five kinds of NASTY!! Pair em up with a Ped Egg and you have a great gift for some stanky footed person...
I thought you were kidding about the weiner dog corn holders. I see now that... you weren't. Hilarious!
Here's another one for your list - get dad a Beer Holster!
Oh McMommy! Can you please make sure to help me with all future shopping needs?! This made my father's day shopping soooo much easier! And I figured that the chicken purse had to be my reward for being so smart in finding your blog. Bwahahaha. Loved the post. I cracked up the whole way through! ;)
I liked the black tank top myself... not too sure my dad would appreciate the idea...
We actually already own the weiner dog corn-on-the-cob prongs. But we also own an actual weiner dog, and I swear they were bought as a joke. We've never even used them.
Well, actually that's a lie, but we only used them the one time because we had a weiner-dog themed party for my son's birthday (yes, really) with Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Weiner and, of course, hot dogs for lunch, with a side of corn with weiner.
Hey, at least I don't have the Chicken purse. Yet.
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