I did it for all moms everywhere.

I don't even know if this story is going to count as a true Make Me Laugh Monday post for everyone.

I mean, I certainly WASN'T laughing when the girl with the amazing body in the itsy-bitsy string bikini came sauntering by the pool.

The family pool, may I add. Where mothers like me are gathered, watching our kids play in the water. Mothers, like me, whose bodies have been dragged through the hills of pregnancy and the valleys of delivery and the trenches of motherhood. Yet we are a happy bunch. We are content with ourselves...sitting there comfortably covered in our tankinis at the family pool. We know these are not the bodies we were given...but the bodies our children gave to us. We understand.

String Bikini then chose to set her towel down just two chairs away from mine.

No, this is still not funny.

String Bikini then turns around to adjust her chair.

This would be the part of the story where I change String Bikini's name to G-String Bikini.

And this is not even a "She should SO not be wearing a G-String" type of g-string girl. Nooooo, this girl was made to wear g-strings. G-strings were probably invented because of her.

And now she's sitting two chairs away from me.

Oh this is just fantastic.
My "I housed two babies in two years" belly is certainly not laughing. Neither is my "should never wear a g-string bikini" backside.

McDaddy suddenly has a neck disorder. As does every other father...as they are craning their necks to see if G-String Bikini is real or if she is a poolside mirage.

Someone buy them a lotto ticket.
It's their lucky day: she's real.

But in my humble opinion, REALLY not bright. I mean, come ON.....if I looked like that, would I choose to layout by the family pool? No way! I'd be high-tailing it to the adult pool and/or hot tub and ordering 2 pina coladas on my way there!

I wondered to myself if she was really expecting a relaxing poolside tanning session here.

Just then, Carter starts cranking up. Oh boy. He's not happy. He wants the sunscreen bottle I just took away from him.
I hand him some pretzels instead--he tosses them. I give him a toy--he pushes it away. His cry gets progressively louder and louder and louder. He is having an all-out, full-blown temper tantrum.

I was about to pick him and walk away.....I didn't want to disturb the other guests. But as I glanced around, the other moms looked unfazed.

G-string Bikini, however, looks thoroughly annoyed.

It was at that moment that I decided to do all us moms a favor.

I let Carter throw his little tantrum right there...making all sorts of racket and commotion. Neither peacefulness nor relaxation was anywhere to be found in our vicinity.

The noise level was deafening to G-String Bikini's ears. She was cracking.

G-string Bikini suddenly stands up, gathers her stuff, and takes off in a huff towards the adult pool.

It was then that I started laughing.

And I could be mistaken....because my ears were still ringing from Carter's scream-a-thon......but I could have sworn I heard the other mothers say "thank you!" under their breath.......